Memorable Moments

Great Times, Great Memories

Because sometimes a moment or an event is so monumental, so epic that they simply HAVE to be listed here.

The Skeet Shooter

A random mob boss encounter who is faster than just about anyone in the game…even Kaiju. He shows up in a trench coat, says "GIMME DE CASSSSSHHH!" and if you do not proceeds to skeet on you with precise aim and intense amount. Recently he hit Takeshi, the leader of Team Alpha from Deep Six, in the park…only this time, since Takeshi's response of laughing at him made him nervous, Skeet Shooter hit him with his "From The Windows To The Wall" special attack, drenching him in…er…mansauce. Recently he also, for apparently "some reason," saved Matsu from being detained at the Mall of Starbucks by the MilPol until Riff-Raff arrived…but Matsu, not trusting the Skeet Shooter, jammed out as fast and hard as he could, with S.S. bouncing on his own overgrown nutsack after him.

Also, rather recently, Skeet Shooter showed up to help Northboy get Hachiko Masaharu's files from the red-eyed bitch herself. He also accidentally skeeted Northboy after Northboy went to open the safe S.S. was shoved into.

Shortly after he appears to have gotten a lobotomy/magical training in order to suppress his Skeet Shootan side and to once again become a productive member of society.

Or so it seems…

People hit by the Skeet Shooter who get to unlock a special side-mission later:
-Sly, Delilah, and freakin' Puppy AGAIN, all at the same time. LOLOLOLOL.
-Northboy, accidentally but still…

You's Transformation

So, You, the Demon Segway, and Northboy are stuck in his grandfather's old silo at his abandoned farm, right? And the area is crawling with black ops MilPol headed by Riff-Raff hisfuckingself, and some of them are sayin' aloud how they've searched the area except for the Silo.

So Northboy begins to plan his own counter-assault when You begins to bounce and freak out. They both jump…and end up in a secret basement that is wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling with random types of explosives.

They fucking found Yoshida's cache of explosives!

At first Northboy tries to take some of the random explosives to use against the MilPol, but You barely knocks him off to the side as, in doing so, he caused a cave-in of the very narrow hallway between tightly stacked and packed explosives.

Northboy begins to reprimand him when he notices that You just saved his life…and is currently eating the explosives. Getting an idea, Northboy helps the Demon Segway eat more and more of the explosives as the Segway begins to glow…

So, MilPol is forming a ring and is converging upon the silo, having taken over the entire area. All that can be heard from the silo is a demonic growl and Northboy and You suddenly burst out…only You isn't a friggin' Segway, but a full on Harley Davidson chopper.

He causes chaos, havoc, and all kindsa Hell as he batters MilPol this way and that, You belching hellfire and leaving behind a flame trail everywhere he goes, battering bodies and bullets with his whirling tires as Northboy does donuts from the farm to their helicopters, causing a domino-effect of explosions. Finally, to the tune of "Grandmother's Chair" by King Diamond, takes off and flies off with the full moon in the background, the very flames of his takeoff igniting the OTHER hidden cache of explosives under the house, its' septic tank, and its' gas main, thus resulting in yet another humongous explosion.


SURPRISE, it's Mr. Bubbles!

So the New Face Group (Sly, Delilah, Mikki, and Takeshi), Miss Lay, Matsu, and Oni are ALMOST at the Dragon's Guild, right? With Michael Stonefist and Kaegro in tow, both ready for their transmogrification into High Gods and what-not, yah?

When shit outta nowhere (literally), rising up from right smack-dab in front of the gate is Harley Girl…who has freakin' switched sides. Again.

That's not important right now though, what IS important is that after a moment of taunting them, she summons a monster for them to play with, Mr. Bubbles…the Inevitable of Death. A freakin' Marut.

Sly's character turns paler since he knows what I just threw at them. Sure it's one of my modded out-bosses, but still…I threw four level 1's and a few old-skoolers at a freakin' Marut.

Full rundown of the Bachelor Party:

-So yeah, they get to Las Vegas and take an hour or two to enjoy the shows, gambling, and get their grub on, right?
-Then Bahamut proposes a toast after putting an "herb" in their drinks. Oyamatsumi tells Matsu that it's alright, it's just an herb, completely natural, makes the drink tastes better and they themselves will feel awesome tonight. Plus it's healthy. Plus shut up and drink it, I'm your god.
-It's Dragonsbane.
-They immediately lose their minds and start gnawing on each other/themselves, thus fucking up their wristcoms.
-After this, they went to a couple of strip clubs and got lit as fuck. It's around here that they jacked Mike Tyson's Porsche.
-Matsu somehow ended up in a bunny outfit and streaked around the place until the guys caught up and dragged him to the next location of DER PARTY!
-The gang somehow ended up tearing ass to L.A. where he got to be the cardgirl for an underground hobofight that, later, he'd also participate in…while wearing that bunny outfit. Saeto was mainly there one fighting hobos. Also, Matsu gave Chao's number ("her number") to a current worshiper of Kaegro, one Aaron Smitt.
-While one group went to L.A., another group stayed behind, went back to the hotel room and supremely trashed it.
The L.A. Group congratulated Saeto by dressing him up in a bondage outfit while he was passed out, and proceeded to stuff him and Matsu in the trunk. From there they ripped through every light-night stop in California until they were back in Las Vegas.
-The two groups converged and partied hard until Matsu started a gang war with rival "Eastsiders," proclaiming WEST SYYYYDE the entire time. Somehow, Oyamatsumi got the bullet-proof vest here.
-They proceeded to the Westminster Unified Church where Kaegro possessed a priest and proceeded to marry himself to one Kelly Chesterson (the busty blonde who worked there part-time but was going to NYU and was a trustee kid), and also in a fit of divination had Matsu make his own tombstone.
-It was right around here that Sigfried and Roy's clones ended up befriending them at a random bar…and while most of the guys hung out and partied with them, Oyamatsumi, Matsu, and Chao got into the car-chase gunfight with LVPD, including the tearing off and throwing of the Sigfried and Roy's cloned tiger's penis at the cop car, said healing of tiger, Oyamatsumi jumping up in the trunk and spraying said cop car with an uzi, and finally Matsu (still wearing that playboy bunny outfit) throwing the tiger itself through the windshield of the pursuing vehicle at the cop.
-Another back-alley gunfight, and this time the guys think Matsu is dead even though he's right behind them, unharmed (stoneskin > bullets). He proceeds to help them dig a grave on the outskirts of town and for no apparent reason they agree that Bahamut is Matsu and tosses him in the grave. He falls asleep immediately since he was confused and needed to think…which he couldn't anyway. Dragonsbane.
-Around this time Odin's head became separated from his body, apparently believing that only being a head would take him to enlightenment, the guys went to another rave and ended up befriending the mayor of Las Vegas (Mayor Ceaser Arnez, later after the 'bane wears off to be the High Priest of Tordek for Las Vegas) and headed out with him to a boxing match…that they immediately interrupted.
-Dancing around like the goddamned pied piper, Chao got Arnez, Saeto, five backup dancers and Sigfried and Roy's clones to the clones' hotel room in another hotel and proceeded to bang most of them…except Saeto. Saeto was passed over because he had finally passed out and was too cute to raep. It's right around here that Saeto's wristcom got stuck in the wall, and Arnez put up too much of a struggle so Chao duct-taped his mouth shut, his hands and feet together, shoved Odin's head up his ass and left him in the Porsche's trunk to "marinate for later!"
-Along the way, Oyamatsumi ended up hanging from the street sign because he wanted to prove that Japanese could jump as high as black guys…then forgot how to get down. Keagro went back to the church to consummate his relationship with Kelly, only ended up in his own body when he did so.

For the record, the game session itself had Chao (played by IRL Matsu, who did a great fuckin' job) and Saeto Fujiyama going around attempting to find their missing friends and relive the night before with videos saved by their wristcoms. Yes, I know, I know, The Hangover rip…but ya gotta love a night full of WTF, y'know?

Anyway, Saeto and Chao wake up in Siegfried and Roy's room. Saeto is dressed in bondage gear and sleeping on the floor, S and R are currently handcuffed in their own bathroom, and Chao is in the bed with five backup dancers. Yes, he fucked everyone except for Saeto…whom he was GOING to, but Saeto was too cute-lookin' in his sleep to screw. Anyway, they figure out that Saeto's wristcom is stuck in between the walls, and eventually get it out. They collect their Porsche (they didn't have a Porsche the night before, they came to Las Vegas in a van and a Cadillac) and take off after Kaegro calls them up dressed as a priest and with a hugefuck hangover…which leads them to Westhaven Christian Church. They collect him and eventually find out that he got married, though to whom they don't know yet. Before they get to Kaegro though, they get pulled over by the cops and Chao mouths off to the officer, and both he and Saeto end up in jail…where Chao rapes a huge bull rapist in mid "that's my spot, you owe me rent" rant leading up to rape. Saeto calms things down, but things heat up when the "Dead Man Walking" is revealed to be Tordek…who apparently killed a few people the night before. They break out (literally, through a wall) and snag the Porsche and take off. They find Oyamatsumi hanging from his belt on a street lamp, find the chick Kaegro married (Kelly Magefang, soon to be deceased now that Kaegro is "full blown evil" again), at first they think Odin's dead…only to find out that his head was up the ass of the mayor of Las Vegas (Mayor Inez, also a head priest of Tordek), whom they found duct-taped in the trunk of the Porsche after Chao fucked him into submission. By now they have gone from LV to Los Angeles where a particular hobofight vid showed Matsu dressed as a bunnygirl playing card girl, and Saeto getting into various fights there. Eventually they head back to Las Vegas, pick up Odin's body, get the rest of the night's misdeeds down, and the cop who picked them up earlier (who is now on their side, since the Mayor ordered it) points out that Matsu died that morning. He helped them build the freakin' grave for it.

They head over to the grave and begin digging it up when Saeto takes matters into his own hands…and calls Yoko.

They then discover that Matsu was in Neo-Tokyo the entire time, having (for no raisin) jacked their wristcoms, put them in a stolen briefcase, and headed out with a stolen ticket back to Neo-Tokyo.

At that moment they dug up Bahamut, who was in the grave the entire time thinking he was dead.

They take off and head home, intending to never, EVER talk about this again.

-SNIKT- Coup De Grace

So the secret group sent on the secret mission gets confronted by the German Psychiatrist from Hell…who is revealed to be a xeno psychic sent to take over the Space Station MAXIMUM FUCK, right? And she's got Alita hooked up to a Barbarella Machine, attempting to mindfuck her into a zombie. Dabu and Northboy bash in (well, Northboy charges the door…and finds out that it's frosted glass. Dude rolled a 20, so it's all friggin' good, y'know?) and Dabu immediately gets the psionic xeno in a mindlock. Keeping her locked up (even her prehensile and uber-elastic tail wrapped around his arm!), Northboy proceeds to bust down the wall since her true form is fukhueg and is currently blocking the doorway, then (after realizing it's a alien metal and Shredder, inside of his head, proceeds to show him how to improve his forearm blades to cut through such metal) frees a very naked and very pissed-off Alita.

Did I happen to mention that this psychiatrist had mindraped Alita's memories with the Barbarella Machine and had pissed off Alita to a berserk status by asking her about her father?

The MOMENT Alita gets down, even though the psychic psychiatrist xeno had a clear 70 hp, the situation was completely ripe and Alita took the Coup De Grace and simply whipped out her family gunsword and -SNIKT-, all off with the head of the bloody rrrrred queen all over the xeno's neck.

Dabu and Alita get COVERED in hot blood, while Northboy says "DAYUM!"

"Sly's" encounter with the Angry Rastafarian Cab Company

So Sly's on the Prime Material Plane, completely cut off from the Infernals, right? So he makes contact with Undine and has her call up the Angry Rastafarian Cab Company.

His event dice sucked. Period.

So as he walks into this cab, which is basically London Fog on wheels, he begins to fail one will save after another…and the bastard starts to slowly turn into an Angry Rastafarian. A percentile dice and a final will save, and he's FINALLY able to get out of the cab…but not without a startling change to his bald life. Honestly, it was his response that made me put this on the Memorable Moments board. Seriously, I wish you were there to see it!

"I HAVE HAIR!?!?!?"

Ms. Lay's House

Funny thing, you guys actually have a HISTORY of having your homes trashed in this game. Seriously, it started though with Ms. Lay's house.

Now she was very proud of this house, since it was a perk for working for the K.N.H. A house with land in Japan? Fuggetaboutit, y'knowwhatImean? Anyway, so the FIRST time her house gets trashed is during the end sequence of Party In Hell, when Northboy, Alita, You, and Yoshida slam through a dimensional portal right over her bed (the first time it should be noted that Ms. Lay's house was on a ley line between dimensions). You ends up wrecking her bed and her stairs, and as they all escape via the mirror portal Riff-Raff and his black ops team busts in and screws up her interiors. I mean vases smashed, dishes flung about, silverware fucked up…the works.

But the house is still intact…this time.

Anyway, at a later time after the house is redecorated and a new addition is built, Ms. Lay sleeps in it fully functional and formed for ONE FREAKING NIGHT…then the whole "Red House Takeover" begins and she eventually gets Saeto and her familiars back to her house.

They escape in the nick of time…and Riff-Raff, having been thwarted twice, decides to simply destroy her home: engulfing it in Blackfire, destroying sections of it, then sending the whole damn thing to the ninth level of Hell.

The kicker? The real sting of it is when he gets down on his hands and knees (and surgical-scalpel tipped tentacles) and tears her lovely flower garden up with said tentacles and gaping, saw-toothed maw.

Yeah, she only got to sleep in it for ONE FREAKING NIGHT, then all this shit happens.

Suffice it to say, Ms. Lay is now on a bloodhunt for Riff-Raff, shadowmancer or not, boogeyman or not. LOL.

Oni's Coming Out Party

So Oni Kitsune decides to throw a housewarming party…only he says it out loud.

A passing Tordekian heard him.

Pfffft, you kno-ooooow! So the party gets out of hand, Jacob P. Galvatron and Tordek show up, and the party is simply off the goddamned chizzain.

Eventually Northboy, Tordek, and JPG find Oni huddled in a closet, and talk him into losing his virginity after all.

He does so, with the help of five lovely ladies.

Fairly certain they were ladies…it WAS a Tordekian party, after all!

Lady Looks Like A Dude

Miss Lay uses a Polymorph Self spell to become a man in order to get closer to Will Smith's Clone (later to be revealed as an Amalgamation: Will Smith, Chris Tucker, and Michael Jackson), mainly 'cuz he apparently only likes guys…and only likes chicks to watch him do said guys.

Problem is? She won't change back until later on that night.

So yeaaaah…one of the womanliest characters turns into a man, and apparently enjoys it. Like, seriously, no one will shut up about it. >XD


Roaring Rape Riot Rampage of the Bearsharktopi

They are the Bearsharktopi.

Half-bear, half-shark, half-octopus.

Creatures that are bad on their own, but when in groups can turn into a riot of rape and rampage.

And Unit 13 was dispatched to South Tokyo to take care of an army of them.

Lulz ensues, especially what comes next…

Dabu's and Lay's Flaming Junk Punt

So yeah, Dabu nearly gets raped by a Bearsharktopus.

Like, seriously, he almost got raped by a freakin' Bearsharktopus. Several had dogpiled him, but only one almost got it's peeeeniiiiis into him.

In retaliation, he gets all pissed off and Miss Lay gets the idea of casting Heroism, Fire Shield, and Enlarge Person on him.

By now, there were only two Bearsharktopi left…the one that had nearly raped him and a second already wounded one. So they jam their heads into the ground to prepare for their Desperation Attack when he suddenly DOES…it….

Dabu catches the one that nearly raped him on an attack of opportunity and, quite literally, kicks it in the balls with a flaming huge giantfoot.

The Bearsharktopus, with it's head in the ground, can't do anything but flop from side to side, it's neck breaking in multiple places and the damned thing dying several times.

Good times, man, good times…I think he kept it's head, up until his house got firebombed later on. LOL!

"I'M A MONSTER!!!" ::catches self::

Okay, this is kinda a three-parter, starting with this one. The gang have been sent to Neo-Monster Hunter HQ for a certain situation (see "Rape Rampage of the Bearsharktopi"), and afterwards all kindsa bedlam breaks out. One of those is that Alita transforms an annoying group of boys and girls into grown men with a well-timed "ALITA FLASH!"

Above all, though, was the transformation of General Red into a giant. Don't ask.

Anyway, all these annoying brats are trying to catch him when suddenly he realizes "I'M A MONSTER!" and proceeds to catch HIMSELF.

This DOES prove one thing though: anyone can become a monster, if they at least believe they are. So long as this one thing has been met, they can be caught and trained by a Neo Monster Hunter~!

Anyway, this situation is not without repercussions, since Rizer happens to be owed by this guy…

Cutting The Monster's Achilles' Heel

So the gang is helping Sly out with "Rizer's Quest," right? The one that'll let him become a full-fledged Soul Flayer? So anyway, this one was just chock full of memories, but these two definitely take the cake!

Freakin' Matsu has his Hellblades on, figures since it's South Tokyo the Neo Monster Hunter cops aren't gonna care as much (and they don't, btw), so he does his thing…then pours on the gas. He basically goes for a high-speed sword-slashin' drive-by on the Monster, but he didn't realize how BIG General Red is (he's as big as the Colosseum), but afterwards he decides to go for it anyway.

He rolls a freakin' crit, and ends up cutting Giant General Red's Achilles heel! He literally does an assload of damage in one shot!

Tearing The Monster In Half

Shortly after Matsu does his thing with Giant General Red, Puppy gets a "stupid idea." At first Alita's all, "I don't care," but then hears Puppy out…and decides to go for it.

They roll so freakin' awesome, I HAD to go with it!

So they both grab Critterspheres and hit General Red at the same time from both sides with it. Because of their timing though, both Critterspheres activate at the same time and since General Red had caught him-freaking-SELF earlier, both became registered as his monster trainer…and both Critterspheres attempted to catch him at the same time.

This proceeds to tear him in half, with each Crittersphere catching that bloody half. Blood and guts and bile falls EVERYWHERE, and Matsu simply leaves with a, "Oh fuck this shit. I'm done. See ya guys!"

Funny part is, I THINK that either Alita or Puppy (pro'lly Alita) actually tried to release Red by taking both Critterspheres and releasing each half at the same time…only for those two bloody halves of a corpse to flop out.

Well, the good news was Sly got the second soul he needed for Rizer's Quest!

WOEM Woem woem…

Meow. Meow meow. Meow. Meow meow woem. WOEM, Woem, woem…

Sey, Namow! ::Sulk::

woem woem woem woem…woem…woooeeeeem….rrrrrg….

Matsu Versus The Ninjas/Dickvomit

Dude, short but funny!

So Matsu goes to the Hattori Ninja clan to find his god. He does so, and after finding out everything is okay he is forced to spend the night amongst the clan's menfolk (the Hattori Ninja are very sexist, and are segregated by gender), having to recite gee-manly poetry by firelight and getting into drinking contests and stupid contests of manly proportions. (arm wrestling, wrestling-wrestling…though, as their guest all he has to do is watch and make commentary that is properly mansome).

So anyway, he outdrinks EVERYONE in the village. Every manly man, even their manliest man. They are about to think of him as a god when everyone realizes Mongo was also drinking.

Sadly enough, Mongo apparently can't hold his alcohol, and vomits everywhere.

Let's repeat this so you can get the full feel of it: Mongo Chestraper, Matsu's freakin' talkin' penis with muscular arms, is now vomiting.
Strangest thing about the situation is that NO ONE VIEWING THIS IN THE PARTY (Matsu's Solo mission) IS QUESTIONING HOW A PENIS CAN VOMIT oh jesus this freakin' game…

Every Single Time Yoshida Appears

Period. If you want to find more moments about this, yer on yer own.

Facesitting/Squeaky Squeaky

Otherwise known as "I Can't Believe It Ended Like That!"

So they meet Getrude Do'An, right? The leader of the Spellfists. And he's a dirty old man…who apparently has more counters and interrupts then they have people.

So eventually EVENTUALLY it gets to Miss Lay and the short-shit…did I mention Gertrude is only 3 feet tall or so?…is behind her reaching up and grabbing her ass. So she just goes, "Y'know what? Fuck yer couch" and sits on him.

Gertrude is in ass heaven, so I make his pervy disposition roll…and the motherfucker gets a 1. He cannot resist dat ass, so this provides a situation where the combat (scheduled for longer then THIS, this was basically the first round!) can end early if they want.

I check with the whole party to see what they want, and indeed: everyone wants this to end, since they're basically facing a guy who can counter/interrupt everything…and he hasn't even gotten serious about fighting yet!

So Ms. Lay rubs her Bayonetta-suited ass on his face and squeak-squeaky, end of battle.

Baoz's purr

No, seriously, you might have to go visit his NPC profile to hear how he purrs.

When I first unveiled it, the party was like, "Wait…what the fuck is THAT?!" Now they fuckin' love it.

It's hard to describe with words…if you combine the sounds of a failing car, a machine with a wrench jammed in it, and that old Jeep cartoon that was basically a rip-off of Scooby Doo…yeah, that.

Suffice it to say, I really dig Ninja's mode of communication as well…but there's somethin' about Baoz's purr that I just LOVE to do.

Then there's Baoz's meow, which sounds like he's freakin' dyin' or somethin'.

Just, ugh, go check the NPC profiles after I finally get the voice samples up.

Reminder from Ms. Lay: it's also incredibly funny when Baoz tries to meow after he's merged with HERBERT and is in flight mode. Funny as hell, since he can't meow and keep power to his jets at the same time.

Ninja, period

Yeah, much like Yoshida, Ninja is just a bundle of luffs and laughs. He's a cute, dumb brick of cute…and pretty much anything connected to him is well-received by the entire party.

Everything from his habit of hanging around in ghost form, to his OM NOM NOM ability, and his subsequent Infernal Internals and dragonfire belching, the little bastard's just too cute for anyone to hate…and comes in handy when you least expect it.

"Thbbt, thbbt, thbbt!"

Ninja's acquisition of his name

Funny story about how Ninja got his name…y'see Matsu had just acquired the little bastid, and was Hellblading over the tops of trees at Mt. Fuji.

Anyway, he was racing Yoko Fujiyama (before they got married) and he tried to go faster to catch up to her, right? This was before he even knew she had "special" Hellblades, let alone her Otoko Hellblades…

Bad idea, since Ninja was on his shoulders.

In the space between seconds, without losing velocity, Ninja jumped in ninety-degree angles and buried his claws into Matsu's expansive, albino back.

Suffice it to say, he lost the race but he gained a name for his cat!


Oh god, okay…so Takeshi has this ability, right? The Howitzer Kick. Does great as a special attack, but there's one little itty-bitty part that I hadn't noticed…or, at least, planned for.

So he uses it on a mob, right? And he gets a crit. On a mob who's already downed.

Now, situational modifiers are applied to damage (x4 crit for special attacks, x2 for being downed), and then it's revealed "Wait, what about the negative to int ability?"

Long story short: holy fucking shit he just negged this guy for -16 Intelligence!

Suffice it to say, the vegetable is simply drooling and making retarded-pumpkin sounds. LOL!

Flaco Hates Dicey


Party in Hell
Mongo Chestraper
I'm A Bush
H.E.R.B.E.R.T. combining with Baoz/H.E.R.B.E.R.T.'s flight
The Chaos Board (lolobsessions)
Alita Amongst the Monsters
Alita in Wonderland
Ms. Lay Amongst the Monsters/Saeto's Rescue
The Battle Against Deus: I AM/Harkonnen Kraze
"I need to brush my teeth, ese!"
La Heina Has Ten to Twenty Minutes To Kill
Alita's Dress
Car Mating
Octavius Septimus is…a good person?!!!
Lawnmower Nunchucks
Gervais St. Germain
Quentin Joins the Rebel/Resist
Revealing the Griefer
You the Demon Lexus
Tyrone Destroying the Japanese-American Consulate's Shield/NERRRRRRRRRRRDS!
Dicey Hands A Wad To The Skeet Shooter
Return of the Skeet Shooter
Chou-cho versus Ballerd Stern

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