"So J did WHAT?!
He did what?!!!
Oh, oh god, that's very bad, very bad indeed…but if I gotta, I gotta!
I, Bushwig, never Bush, never Shwig, just Bushwig, ams gottas tell youse bastids 'bout dis here Easter Egg hunt on dis here Wiki.
So, wittout further adieu, lessee…"
The first clue can be found only if you're feeling religious. Should be fairly obvious, like looking at a mirror…
"So there you bastids go, THAT one'll net you something nice in de game itself. Also THE GAME, you fuckin' bastids…
What, wuddya mean a second clue? The fuck, the hell?! OH god!
Alright, alright, don't be in a rush, my family's eaten bigger than youse…"
The clue to the second Easter egg is right here.
"SO, does this satisfy youse? Is dis enough? Figyuh it out in de game, and youse goons can unlock somethin' pretty sweet in de game itself. Remember, this ain't first-come-first-served…it's just a lil' somethin'-somethin' 'cuz J is such a bastage.
So what are you waiting for? You got yer clues, flail around and look at stuff on da Wiki 'til yer noggins jog.
Now it's time for Bushwig to amscray. I got some rotten tomatoes to throw at those bastids what did Avatar: The Last Whiteboy so fuckin' wrong!
Outta heah!"